Tetsuya Kuroko: User Guide and Manual
by Hacker in RLife
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased a TETSUYA KUROKO or KUROKO TETSUYA unit! To properly take care of this unit and to also make sure that you will not be in the hospital. We provide you with this manual of our's, so please read or we will haunt/stalk you...


**- Heya~ I have read some amazing User Guide stories like this, and I want to try them out. I found out that KNB doesn't have any of these (I am not sure, too lazy to search again) So enjoy and I do not own KNB. -**

**: Isn't that suppose to be my line? : **

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Congratulations! You have purchase the Tetsuya Kuroko unit! But before you could open the package that the KNB. Co's delivery guy gave you, we advice you to read _all _of the instructions and others of this manual so you could avoid getting yourself in the hospital with a *cough* few *cough* injuries.

**General Information**

Name: Kuroko Tetsuya or Tetsuya Kuroko. Your unit will also respond to 'Tetsuya' 'Kuroko' 'Kuroko-kun' 'Kuro-chin' 'Tetsu-kun' 'Tetsuya-kun' 'Tetsu' 'Kurokochii' (Calling him small or short will likely result you in your own funeral)

Age: 16

Height: 168 cm, 5'6 (Again calling him small or short will lead you to your own funeral, unless you are a female. He will just get annoyed by that)

Weight: 57 kg (126 lbs)

Birthday: January 31st, Aquarius

Place of Manufacture: KNB Co, Tokyo Division

Length: Hey, don't ask me! Ask a KAGAMI TAIGA unit he seems close to him. Not that I am making sure that a KAGAMI TAIGA unit did saw _it_.

Note: If you _did _ask a KAGAMI TAIGA unit and he answered. Be sure to tell me *Eyes Sparkles*

**Your Unit comes with the following**

**One** Seirin Uniform

**One** Seirin number 11 jersey

**One** pair of basketball shoes, which are white with blue streaks

**One** black sweatbands

**One** adorable NIGOU unit

**One** '_free vanilla shakes for a week_' coupon to any shop, stall, restaurants, etc

**One** KUROKO unit detector (Just in case)

**Ten** Basketballs

Note: If you want to buy your unit new clothes, get ready and think of reasons on why you want to buy your unit new clothes because you and your KUROKO unit will politely tell you that you don't have to do that. There are two ways to make your KUROKO unit come with you. The first way is to bribe him with a whole lot of Vanilla shakes. Second way is to bring a RIKO AIDA or MOMOI SATSUKI unit with you, the RIKO AIDA unit or MOMOI SATSUKI will surely drag your KUROKO unit to the nearest department store or mall.

**Removing your KUROKO Unit from the box**

KUROKO units are harmless creatures, so it is easy to make him come out of the box. Although, there may be some chances that the KUROKO unit is in a bad mood. In order to avoid injuries, do the following:

Go buy one Vanilla Shake from the nearest store, then hold it in front of the box and say "Kuroko, I bought you a Vanilla Shake" And then, tada! Your KUROKO unit will slowly come out of the box and accept the shake. After your KUROKO unit finishes his shake, you may reprogram him.

Activate the NIGOU unit and the KUROKO unit will automatically come out of it's box. He will start to cuddle with the dog, and then you can reprogram him.

Yell loudly "BAKAGAMI AND AHOMINE ARE FIGHTING AGAIN!" the KUROKO unit will quickly come out (or destroy) of it's box to separate his to light. If he found out that there are no fight, he will be confuse. Use this to your advantage, and reprogram him quickly.

Yell loudly "Some basketball players are playing dirty!" and watch in amazement as your KUROKO unit literally destroy it's box by using his Ignite pass. And when he exited, quickly use your speed and reprogram him before he try to use his _Ignite Pass Kai_

If your KUROKO unit is in really a bad mood, do the first and second. But if you're a daredevil and you did the third and fourth, let me ask you one question... what flower do you want me to put on your grave?

Note: If your KUROKO unit does not respond to any of this, that means he is somewhere playing basketball. Better get him before fangirls kidnap him.

**Functions**

**Kindergarten teacher**: Low on cash? Don't worry. Your KUROKO unit is not always basketball, he's very capable of handling children. But before you sign him up, ask him if he could. KUROKO units are very not happy when you did something about them without them knowing.

**Magician**: Yep, you heard right. With your KUROKO unit's misdirection, kids will go 'wow' for this disappearing magician. You'd be amaze if you suddenly woke up in a pile of money. Be aware that your KUROKO unit is not responsible for giving those who have weak heart a heart attack.

**Babysitter**: Got an annoying little brother/sister/cousin/etc? Call your KUROKO unit right away to take care of that cheeky brat, just make sure he got every materials needed but if he don't... he'll using your credit card for a while.

**Basketball player**: Do you want to be one of those famous basketball player? Do you want to prove your basketball-addict rival that you are much better than him? No fear. Your KUROKO unit is an expert when it comes to basketball, although he may just teach you about stealing and passes.

**Modes**

_Emotionless (Default)  
Happy (Locked)  
Shadow  
Depress (Locked)  
Angry (Locked)  
Out of Character (Locked)_

_Emotionless _mode is where your KUROKO unit is just staring at you with his poker face all day, don't worry. He is not planning on killing you or anything, and don't you dare try to guess on what's his thinking. You'll be just spending your entire day acting like one of those mind readers. So don't, period.

KUROKO in _Happy _mode is one of the most rarest thing that you are so gonna get a nosebleed from (Yes, you too boys can get them) In _Happy _mode, he will smile more than the usual and shine more brightly that can put KISE unit's sparkles to shame. Sadly, the _Happy _mode is lock. In order to unlock this, here are the followings: Plan A, give him a year-supply of Vanilla Shakes if you're limited '_free Vanilla Shakes_' is gone and he knows. Plan B, playing basketball with him everyday and saying that you love basketball because it's fun. Or Plan C, give him the Special Sandwich

(_Warning: We are not responsible for the lose of blood) _

_Shadow _mode is where your KUROKO unit is in a team with either a AOMINE DAIKI unit or KAGAMI TAIGA unit. Don't be surprised if you suddenly see basketballs flying everywhere around the court in a match, also; keep in mind that whenever in _Shadow _mode he can give quite the Ignite pass. So, if that rival of yours ever come, you know what to do.

_Depress/Sad _mode. If your KUROKO unit is either at the corner in your house or you can see visible tears in the corners of his eyes, he is in _Depress/Sad. _To unlock this, because you are a sadist, either let the NIGOU unit go outside for a walk without KUROKO, or remind him of the time at the match between the GoM and the OGIWARA unit's match. If successful, you will be seeing a ghost than a human. To make him go back to _Emotionless _mode, just grab a nearby KAGAMI TAIGA or NIGOU unit to comfort him and he'll be back as new.

_Angry _mode is very understandable when we decided to lock this. A _Angry _KUROKO in never a good news, but if you really are the risk-taker person then please sign this contract to not sue us when something happened to you. Continuing, to unlock just try to torture NIGOU in front of him, or make him join a math against someone who is playing dirty. If KUROKO is letting out dangerous aura around him, congrats and good luck. To reverse, just dropped the traumatize NIGOU and if you did the second option just wait for KUROKO to win and he'll go to _Emotionless _mode. Losing will result him going to _Depress/Sad _mode.

_Out of Character _or _OOC _mode is entirely a different story, we shall give you a piece of advice. Don't unlock this mode, why? We don't have the antidote yet. When your KUROKO unit starts to laugh maniacally, playing dirty, or became as talkative as KISE. It means that your KUROKO unit is in _OOC _mode.

**Relationships with other UNITs **

KAGAMI TAIGA: KAGAMI unit is the best friend and the current light of the KUROKO unit their different plays complement each other perfectly. When playing together, they understand each other perfectly, which makes them a lethal rookie-duo. They understand each other and can motivate, calm down and share feelings with one another. It's very possible that a relationship can arise between the two (If the GoM is nowhere at sight)

AOMINE DAIKI: The former light of KUROKO, in middle school they seem to reach in some kind of disagreement. In the present time, their bond is slowly building up. Maybe with a little push, they'll be at the next stage of their relationship (Again, GoM + KAGAMI TAIAGA out of sight is needed)

MOMOI SATSUKI: Just to make things clear, KUROKO and MOMOI are not in a relationship so don't worry. KUROKO cares deeply for MOMOI and he treasures their friendship, nothing much of the two... for now.

OGIWARA SHIGEHIRO: Nothing much about the two either, the only thing we know that the two was once close to each other because their love of basketball.

**Cleaning **

Your unit is capable of cleaning himself, so don't try to bath with him. If you try to peek on him, he'll be just using his misdirection on you instead and is now right behind you.

**Feeding **

Your KUROKO unit's health is based on what you cook for him. Three balanced meal is what he prefer and try to avoid feeding him Vanilla Shakes, feed him as much vegetables as you should. And maybe squish some milk while you're at it.

**Sleeping **

He'll be needing 8 hours of sleep everyday, and can you set up a video camera in his room? I want to find out how his hair becomes like that, thanks!

**Questions**

**Q:** My KUROKO unit disappeared all of the sudden!

**A: **Ah, don't worry about that. It's just his usual disappearing thing, just use your KUROKO unit detector.

**Q: **The limited '_free Vanilla Shakes_' is gone and my KUROKO unit is using my credit card (He did ask permission the other day)

**A: **Is that so? Then please contact our delivery man and he will give you another coupon. Try to stop your KUROKO unit to spend all of your money in the meantime.

**Q: **I accidentally unlock KUROKO's OOC mode, should I scream?

**A: **Yep, you should.

**Problem Shooting**

**Problem: **My friend called KUROKO small and KUROKO is in the process of killing him with a straw

**Solution: **Bring a KAGAMI TAIGA unit to calm him down, or anyone close to KUROKO. Next time, tell all of your friends to not call him that.

**Problem: **When I did all of the options, my KUROKO unit did not response. When I opened the box, because I have no choice, I ended up with a very young looking KUROKO and he seemed very confuse.

**Solution:** Oops, we kinda made a mistake. We have sent you a Teikou!KUROKO, this little guy is still at the past. Maybe when he just joined the Teikou Basketball club. Yeah, sorry. If you don't want him, we will gladly take him back and give you your regular KUROKO unit.

**Problem: **It makes sense that Teikou!KUROKO is present, but what about this cute and adorable looking kid that I almost killed from being hugged to much and me almost getting killed by him *Holds little KUROKO*

**Solution: **We accidentally send you a Chibi!KUROKO unit, now this guy will be more confused and more expressive than the middle and high school KUROKO. If you would like to keep him, call us and we will sign a contract that we are not responsible that you are in jail because of child molestation.

With this unit, we wish you happiness until he breaks down or until he moved to a new house with the unit he fell in love with. And... where's KUROKO by the way?

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**- I'm still inexperience, so deal with it! Thanks for reading~ -**


End file.
